Desolance

The past 2 weeks have been a roller coaster ride for me. First a headhunter approached me and convinced me to consider joining one of my ex-employers which I am not very adverse to. After much persuation – I agreed. And that was the beginning of a 2 week hell ride for me. Things went well at first with the interviews going in most excellent manner and the stage was set for an offer for me to move. And over the past few days things died down suddenly without warning. And finally came the bomb – they have been going all over the place trying to ask about me and no doubt – some people in that organsation said some unflattering comments about me and they started reconsidering their offer. And so that was the end and I felt gutted and betrayed for a while and it died down. But what’s so disappointing for me personally ain’t the lost job offer – because I never wanted a new job anyway.

I guess what really pissed me off was the fact that the company HR started telling the world at large about me being desperate for a job and it got to some people in my current organisation! This is truly a humbling and humuliating experience for me and I swear this will be the final time I’d ever consider any offers coming from that place. Through all these up’s and down’s … I was thankful that it ended the way it did – for I would have been trashed when I did join anyway.

And as I write this passive reflection of this event… I cannot help but think about how evil people can be and how unthoughtful they could be. These people talking about me that way probably do not even know me personally nor would they be in a capacity to provide reliable feedback about me. How ugly a world we live in dominated by people like these. I am grateful that I am brought up in a moral world where at least – my conscience would never allow me to say things like that on a purely speculative and opportunistic manner. 

And as I write – a calm befalls this uncertain soul and finally… I am at peace and happy once again. Although I wished I had never started this exploration in the first place but I am happy to take that as a painful learning lesson on human nature…